If you would like to contact the shaved chimpanzees who run Claptrap for any reason whatsoever you can do so in the following ways:
No words of praise please, we are trying not to encourage them.
With his inquisitive smile and boyish good looks Daniel Matthew Anstey is one for the ages. His decision to team up with J Stu and Griff is indicative of Dan’s keen intellect and strong pursuit for perfection in all that he does. Having attained his Bachelor of Engineering in 2005 and subsequent professional employment, his immaturity finally caught up with him forcing his ‘early retirement’ and easing into more leisurely pursuit of success in the arena of entertainment. His key hobbies and life pursuits involve sessions of self admiration in front of the mirror and days of intense highs induced by thoughts of his own greatness, he has successfully taken the art of self appreciation to new levels.
Brendan Griffen is that special sort of human who initially makes you want to vomit blood from your eyes, but eventually you just want to crush his head and extract the sweet nectar from his brain. As a child he was abused, not physically or mentally, but metaphorically by an imaginary man made of Lego who called himself Henry. Griff was entered into a psychiatric care program because of these delusions and over time he managed to substitute a crippling fear of building blocks and other objects capable of being segmented into more than six parts with an interest for astrophysics and a well developed propensity for looking like a disgusting mess of a human. His hobbies include cultivating large amounts of watermelon and painting horses. You can find a picture of him in the dictionary under the word Griff...and dumpster.
Classed as an oddity from birth, Joshua Stewart grew up unaware of who his real biological parents were. Only now are the real details coming to light. DNA tests have now proved that his peculiar shaped head was no accident but the result of Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Peter Hellier having sexual relations 21 years ago. As he matured, the world saw fast-food giants stocks soar with the consumption of family buckets of chicken at an all-time high. Continuing in this fashion through his late teens, shareholders believe it is J Stus affinity for deep fried chicken that is keeping the ailing fast-food sector afloat. Of equal importance is his laugh - a cross between a hyena and an eight year old school girl.
